


And Baby Makes Four

by Pineprin137



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Dean Winchester Loves The Impala, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Language, F/M, Fluff, Graphic Depictions of Illness, Hangover, Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, More Fluff, More angst, Morning Sickness, Nausea, Panic Attacks, Poor Dean Winchester, Post-Episode: s05e22 Swan Song, Pre-Season/Series 06, Rough Kissing, Sex in/on the Impala (Supernatural), Sickfic, The Impala (Supernatural), Unplanned Pregnancy, Vaginal Sex, Vomiting, What better way than to end with all the fluff, You're Welcome, am i right?, back to angst, it's the Winchesters, what do you expect?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-20
Updated: 2019-05-26
Packaged: 2020-01-20 14:58:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 11,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18527413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pineprin137/pseuds/Pineprin137
Summary: "This thing goes our way and I triple indy into that box, you know I'm not coming back. You gotta promise not to try to bring me back. You go find Lisa, go live some normal apple pie life. Promise me, Dean. Promise me."





	1. Movie Night

**Author's Note:**

> Shit. Swan Song gets me every time I rewatch it. *dabs tears*
> 
> So this is my interpretation of what could've happened if Sam didn't come back. I know, I know, I'm awful for even thinking it! But I sat down to write a happier version with Dean and my original character Molly and then Lisa took over. 
> 
> I don't own these characters, I just love them to death (except for Lisa...I have mixed feelings about her).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was going to be a quick one-shot, but then I glanced down and saw I already had nine pages written so I decided to go with the flow and turn it into a multi-chapter fic. 
> 
> *I only did a quick read through and my "editor" is taking forever so if there are mistakes, I apologize. Please let me know if you find any glaring errors. I am a grammar nazi myself, so I won't be offended. Hopefully, said "editor" will get his butt in gear and give me the stamp of approval soon.

“Lis? You alright in there?” Dean knocked softly against the door to the master bathroom. They had been watching a movie with Ben downstairs when Lisa excused herself. He and Ben had assumed it was time for a bathroom break so they paused the movie and waited for her. That had been about forty-five minutes ago. He heard her mumble an affirmative before the door opened a crack. He started to speak, but Lisa cut him off. 

“I’m okay, just an upset stomach.” Then she shut the door and Dean heard the lock click into place. Frowning, he turned away from the door and headed back to the living room.

“Mom okay?” Ben immediately asked as soon as Dean settled on the couch. Ben was peering towards the stairs like he expected his mom to come around the corner.

“Yeah, I think something she ate earlier isn’t sitting right. She’s going to bed. Wanna continue?”

“Yeah. We could always rewind it if she comes back later.” It wasn’t a question, but Dean answered him anyway. “Yeah bud, of course.”

 

_Lisa just stared at the little white stick in her hand. Pregnant. She was pregnant. With Dean Winchester’s baby. That was bad, right? It had to be a mistake? She couldn’t possibly be happy about this. What was she going to tell Ben?_

_Shit._

_What was she going to tell Dean?_

 

Dean couldn’t seem to focus on the movie. His thoughts kept going back to Lisa. Something felt off. She never locked the door. Why would she try to keep him out? He shook his head and looked down to where Ben had fallen asleep on his shoulder. Neither of them had paid much attention to the movie after Dean returned. 

The movie ended a little while later so he gently shook Ben to wake him up, then told him to go to bed. After watching the kid make his way slowly to his room, Dean went through his nightly lock-up routine. He checked the devil’s trap, the salt on the windows, all the locks, and finished by arming the security system. He took one last look around the dark house and then headed upstairs.  

Lisa was fine. She had to be. Surely the universe was done screwing with him? It had already taken his brother, it wouldn’t take the one woman who was willing to put up with the epic shitstorm that was his life.  

 

He checked on Ben’s sleeping form and then made his way down the hall to Lisa’s bedroom. He still didn’t consider it his even though she had insisted several times that this was his home too, his bedroom. But he couldn’t claim it. It didn’t feel right. He hadn’t earned the right to be a part of their family; he was just an interloper with a duffle bag full of issues. He learned early on in his life not to build relationships or claim ownership of something. If he got attached, he would just end up losing it or it would be used against him as leverage. He had assumed that his family, his brother, was the only exception to that rule, but even Sammy was taken away from him in the end.

He took a deep breath and pushed opened the door. His eyes could see fairly well in total darkness thanks to a lifetime of hunting. Monsters usually preferred the dark so he and Sam had trained their eyes to adjust quickly to changes in light. John even tested them by flicking the light on in the middle of the night or timing them to see how long it took them to get ready in the dark.

Lisa was still on the bed and Dean felt a short burst of panic until he saw the covers move slightly. He silently crossed to the closet and undressed before pulling out a pair of pajama pants and a t-shirt from his side of the dresser. He carefully slipped into bed next to her and then gave in to the temptation to pull her into his arms. She sighed in her sleep and snuggled into him. Dean laid in the dark listening to the quiet beat of her heart, the small snuffling sounds she made in her sleep and tried to push his worries aside. 

He promised Sammy that he would try the apple pie life and apparently that included staying up all night worrying about Lisa and wishing his brother was only a phone call away. 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Sick Day

“Ben! C’mon dude, you’re going to be late for school if you don’t shag as...I mean, get a move on!” Dean huffed out a breath and glared at the scrambled eggs in the skillet. It was way too damn easy to fall back into his tough guy hunter persona. He was trying hard to cut back on the foul language and he didn’t particularly feel like getting The Look from Lisa this morning. He was on edge after a sleepless night though, and the extra strong black brew in his mug wasn’t cutting it.

He crossed to the breakfast table and slid the eggs onto Ben and Lisa’s plates. He had eaten earlier when he realized they were running late. Lisa didn’t even look up at him when he leaned down to kiss her cheek. He frowned at her and rubbed her shoulder before going back to the stovetop.

He took another large gulp of now lukewarm coffee and rolled his neck. He was starting to think that domestic life may be harder on him than hunting. At least back then he had adrenaline and vengeance to help him push through, now all he felt was tired and sore.  

 

“Mom? Do I have to go today? My head hurts.” Dean glanced up briefly when Ben entered the kitchen, then did a double take. The kid’s eyes were dull and he seemed a little peaky in color. Damn, he probably had the school special. Although if something _was_ going around, that might explain Lisa’s odd behavior last night and this morning.

 

“Just your head? Or something else too?” Dean spoke up when Lisa failed to answer her son.

“I don’t know, maybe? I just feel kind of...off.” Ben looked concerned at his mom’s continued silence but reluctantly turned his attention towards Dean.

 

“Do you have anything important today? Any tests or anything?” Dean asked as he put a hand to Ben’s forehead to check for a temperature. He hated to send the kid to school if he was genuinely ill, but he was also aware of a major science test that Ben had been stressing over for the last two weeks.

 

“Um, I have a quiz in Math today and that stupid test in Mr. Mattingly’s class.” Ben sighed and leaned into Dean’s hand.

 

“Well, you may have a fever, but it seems pretty mild.” Ben leaned into him so Dean wrapped an arm around his shoulder. “Those classes are both before lunch, right?” If the kid could make it half the day, Dean could swing by on his lunch break to bring him home. They were almost finished with the current renovations at the office building downtown. Besides, his boss had assured him over and over that if Lisa needed him to get Ben for any reason, he was free to leave.

 

“Yeah. Math is homeroom and Science is right before lunch. Do you think I could get away with napping during English?” Dean smiled at the sick boy's weak attempt at humor. Ben was strong and he was damn smart. He actually reminded Dean a lot of Sam when he was younger. Ben was more than capable of faking sick to get out of school, but he hadn't tried to pull anything since Dean moved in. 

 

“Alright. I’ll come over at lunch and pick you up unless you think you can make it through the whole day?" Ben shook his head against Dean's t-shirt. "Okay, well just in case, here’s your lunch. Go grab your backpack and I’ll meet you in the truck.” Ben cast a lingering gaze at his mother, then sighed and grabbed the paper bag off the counter. With Ben sorted, Dean turned his attention back to Lisa. “Lis? Honey? I’m gettin’ ready to take Ben to school. Do you need me to call in for you or anything?” The only sign that she heard him was a slight tilt of her head in his direction. If he wasn't worried before, her lack of response and concern for her son did it. He made an executive decision and grabbed the phone off the counter. He called up Susan and asked her to cover Lisa’s sessions today. Since it was a fairly small studio Lisa didn’t have a lot of employees, but Susan served as a fill-in when her boss was sick or injured. Like two months ago when Lisa twisted her ankle so bad she couldn’t walk on it for two days. Susan reassured him it was no problem so he hung up and walked back over to the table

 

“How 'bout we get you back into bed?” At this point, he wasn’t expecting a reply so he just slipped one of her arms over his shoulder and then carried her up the stairs to the bedroom. He pulled the covers up over her then filled the glass from the bathroom with water and set it on the nightstand for her. He paused at the doorway and watched her for a moment. Then he thought of her sick son sitting in the truck. He sighed, turned, and left her alone in the dark.

The drive to the school was silent. Dean was preoccupied with worry over Lisa and Ben had fallen asleep against the window. He was caught off guard by how much the boy resembled his brother at that moment. So many nights he had looked over to see his little brother’s face plastered to the Impala's rear window while John drove them to the next hunt.

Dean gripped the steering wheel and fought against the waves of pain and remorse he felt for both his fallen brother and his beloved car. She was sitting still in Lisa's garage, waiting patiently for him. Anticipating the day he would jump in, blare his rock music, and burn serious rubber fleeing suburbia and the apple pie life he had promised Sam he would live.

During the first few weeks, Dean had kept her uncovered so he could slide across the soft leather and breathe in the lingering scent of his former life. He had even tried to take her out a few times but always ended up with a new bottle of whiskey and Baby back in the garage. He just couldn’t stomach the thought of cruising down the road with someone other than Sam sitting shotgun.


	3. Will She, Won't She

He had to gently shake Ben when they pulled up to the middle school. The poor kid looked like crap and Dean was glad he was only making him go for half the day.

 

“Look, kiddo. If you can’t make it till lunch, just have them call me, okay? I don’t think your mom is feeling well either so she’s staying home today.” Ben seemed to look right through him and turned to open the door.

 

“I won’t be mad...or disappointed, alright? If you can make it you should try, but if not, I’ll come and get you.” Dean gave him one last pat on the shoulder and then watched until he made it inside the front doors before pulling away.

 

Unfortunately with that task completed, now he had to figure out what to do about Lisa. Should he call-in to work and go back to her? She didn’t really seem sick, just...out of it. Like she was stuck in some dream world. The hunter in him wanted to assume it was something nasty like a curse or a hex, but he knew it was probably something simple like lack of sleep or something on her mind. He wasn’t really skilled at reading women’s emotions. He hadn’t ever been in a relationship long enough for him to really care what was bothering them. The only deeply emotional relationship he had with anyone in his life had been his brother. When Sammy was quiet and spacey it meant he was hiding something big from Dean, something he worried about Dean’s reaction to.

 

But why would Lisa hide something from him? Unless it was something bad. Something she thought would freak him out, send him racing for Baby, or reaching for the closest bottle.

 

By the time he pulled up to the house he was convinced she was dying of some awful incurable disease. He didn’t even care that the truck was crooked in the driveway or that he forgot to call work. All he could think about was getting inside and making sure she was still breathing.

\---

 

 _Lisa felt someone watching her and tensed up ready to fight off the intruder. No one was going to hurt her in her own home. No one was going to hurt_ her baby _._

 

Dean flinched when he saw Lisa stiffen under the covers. He had been about to brush her hair from her face, but instead, he rose from his knees and walked around to his side of the bed. He toed off his boots and then crawled up so he was against her back. He draped one arm over her and pulled her back into his embrace. He breathed a sigh of relief when she finally turned to face him, but her brown eyes looked...sad, troubled. Why would she be upset? He racked his brain rewinding through the last few days. Nothing stood out. Why was she keeping him at arm's length? What did he do to cause this?

Lisa lifted a hand to Dean’s face then ran her fingers through his hair. It was the longest she had ever seen it although it was still nothing compared to his brother’s. He closed his eyes and leaned into her hand. She gave a small smile and felt a tear slip down her cheek. She must have made a sound because his eyes opened and his brow creased with concern. Green eyes searched hers as he wiped away the tear from her face.

 

A heavy weight settled in Dean's stomach when he saw how upset Lisa was. He thumbed away her tears and then gently kissed her forehead. When she started to softly cry, he gathered her against him and laid his chin on her head. He rubbed her back and shushed her until she stopped shaking.

 

“Lis, talk to me.”

 

Lisa didn’t know how to tell him. Would he believe her? Would he demand proof? Would he storm out and never come back? Or maybe, just maybe would Dean be happy? Would he be excited to know she was carrying his child? That the Winchester legacy would go on. 

 

“Lis, honey, you’re starting to scare me. Please, just tell me what’s wrong. Is it--is it something _I_ did or something with Ben?” He had stared down wendigos and witches, ghouls and ghost possession, but this was worse. He had no clue what to do with the woman who was falling apart in his arms. He felt like if he moved too quickly she would shatter. If he said the wrong thing, she would go silent forever. He wanted so desperately to make it all better, but how could he if Lisa wouldn’t tell him what was wrong? 

He felt her hand curl into his shirt and her head push against his chest. She was obviously fighting with herself over whether to confide in him or not. If Sammy had acted like this he would’ve come up with some stupid joke to lighten the mood and break the tension. But she wasn’t Sam. This was the woman he thought he might just love and he needed to show her she could trust him, that he was here for her. No matter what. Dean knew she liked it when he used pet names so he figured that was a good place to start.

 

“Sweetheart, I want you to know that I’m right here. Okay? Whatever you need from me, whatever you need me to do, I’m right here. I may not understand, but I can listen and try to help.” He tried to convey his feelings for her with the words. He wasn’t very good at touchy-feely stuff. Sam had been the only one he secretly enjoyed sharing chick flick moments with. But Lisa needed him and he was going to do his damndest to be her rock.

 

He was so caught up in his thoughts that it took him a minute to realize the muted vibration against his shirt was actually Lisa speaking.

 

“I’m...okay. Just...there’s something I need to tell you. And I don’t know how.” She kept her head buried in his chest but her grip tightened on his sleeve. 

 

“Okay. Well, uh, why don’t you just say it.” Lisa remained silent so he went on, “I’m guessing this has something to do with you leaving movie night?” He heard a faint mumble and took it as an affirmative. “Are you sick? Or hurt?” No answer. “Do you... need a hospital? Is it bad?”

 

“No. It’s not… I’m not sick. I just, I don’t know how you’re going to react.” The guilt washed over Dean when she finally spoke. She was holding back because of him. She was in pain because she didn’t want what, to set him off? Lisa was still speaking, but Dean no longer heard her.

It was his fault. He did this.


	4. Back to Reality

Lisa felt Dean become rigid against her, but before she could try to convince him it wasn’t his fault, his pocket vibrated and Smoke on the Water began to play.

Dean jolted when he felt his phone go off against his thigh and reluctantly rolled away from Lisa so he could reach the front pocket of his jeans.

 

“Yeah?” He couldn’t tell if he was snippy because of being interrupted or just resorting to autopilot.

“Mr. Braeden? This is the nurse at Belmont Middle School.” Dean was getting used to people assuming he was Ben’s dad, but sometimes he missed being Dean Winchester.

 

“Uh, yeah. Is Ben okay?” 

“Unfortunately, no. He got sick during his English class so we need someone to come get him. He was adamant we should call you instead of his mother.” He was slightly offended by her suspicious tone. What exactly did she think he was guilty of? Lisa had informed the school when Dean moved in that he had authority to pick up Ben if needed so he wasn’t breaking any rules.

 

“Yeah, she’s not feeling well either. I can be there in about twenty minutes.” He was relieved to see Lisa’s questioning gaze when he lifted his arm to glance at his watch.

 

“I’ve sent another student to gather his things, so he should be ready when you get here. Come through the office and they will direct you.” The nurse's sharp tone implied she wanted to end the conversation, but he needed one more thing before she hung up.

 

“Sure. Is there any way I could talk to him for a sec?” He needed to hear the kid’s voice so he knew exactly what level of DefCon sick they were dealing with.

 

“I suppose. Just a moment.” He heard the nurse calling for Ben in the background. Lisa opened her mouth, probably to ask him what the hell was going on since she had been in a fog this morning and hadn’t noticed Ben wasn’t feeling well, but he held up a finger.  Lisa refrained but kept a hand on his back.

 

“Dean?” Ben’s voice was soft and slightly raspy. He sounded like he just woke up. Most likely he had fallen asleep while lying down in the nurse’s office.

 

“Hey, kiddo. How ya' feelin'?”  

“Not good. I uh, got sick...during Vocab.” Dean winced at the embarrassment in Ben’s voice. Poor kid probably had to sprint for the bathroom in the middle of the lesson unless his stomach forced him to use the classroom trash can. He, himself, had only had that shitty experience once during his school years, but Dean still remembered the stares as he fled to the boy’s room and emptied his guts. His only saving grace was the knowledge that John would finish the hunt soon and Dean wouldn’t ever have to face those kids again. Ben didn’t have that luxury.

 

“Aw man, that sucks. You still feel like your gonna hurl?” He ignored The Look he received from Lisa at his word choice and paid attention to her son’s reply.

 

“Maybe? Mostly I just feel hot and kinda dizzy." Definitely a fever, possible lightheadedness and chills, probably the flu.  "Are you on your way?” The desperation in his voice broke Dean’s heart. He wanted so badly to crawl through the phone so he could ruffle Ben’s hair and pull him into a hug.

 

“Yeah, buddy. I’m on my way. I’ll be there soon, okay? Hang in there.” He heard a sigh from the other end of the line and then the nurse was back on reiterating her earlier instructions and ending the call.

 

“You’re going to pick Ben up? Is he sick?” Dean couldn't even get the phone back in his pocket before Lisa started peppering him with questions. She still seemed a little muted, but at least her interest in her son had returned.

 

“Yeah. I was planning on picking him up around lunchtime anyway, after his big test in Science. I’m gonna go grab some supplies and then head out. You need anything before I go?” Her eyes widened in surprise, but she declined his offer. Dean headed down the hall to the guest bathroom so he could grab the small bucket Lisa kept under the sink and a towel for Ben’s seat. It was only a twenty-minute drive from the school to the house, but it was better to be prepared.

Lisa listened as Dean gathered a sick kit and her mind wandered back to the pregnancy. Why she was so worried about telling him about the baby? Dean took such good care of Ben. She hadn’t even noticed his sickness this morning, but Dean had been aware and already made plans to take care of the situation. She swallowed against the mom guilt she felt and rested a hand on her stomach. Dean had pushed aside his worry for her and focused on Ben as soon as the nurse called. Anyone else would feel slighted by his diverted attention, but as a mother all she felt was proud.

 

\---

 

Turns out the bucket was a good idea. Dean kept one hand on Ben’s back as the sick boy hunched over the bucket and gagged. Either Nurse Ratched was blind or Ben had been hiding how bad he really felt. Lisa’s son had been curled up on one of the beds with a trash can by him but had somehow managed to weakly call out to Dean the moment he had stepped through the door to the nurse’s office.

 

They had made it about half way home before Dean decided to pull over. Ben hadn’t said anything, but Dean was still a big brother at heart and he knew when someone was fighting to not be sick. The boy’s face was pale and he was shivering despite the jacket he wore. Dean had simply turned the truck off and slid over on the bench seat so he could comfort Ben when the inevitable happened. He held the bucket while the kid coughed and tried to soothe him by rubbing his back with the hand that wasn’t occupied. He flinched slightly when the first splash of vomit didn’t quite miss his hand but continued to murmur reassurances in Ben’s ear.

 

“It’s alright. Just breathe. You’re okay. It’ll be over soon.” He wished he could just zap Ben home. All he wanted was to tuck the boy into bed and let him sleep away the sickness.

 

“Take it easy, Ben. It’s okay. I’m right here.” Ben suddenly looked so much like Sam Dean had to pause and take a deep breath. The Winchesters were in the car so much growing up that carsickness was practically unheard of, but sometimes shit just happened.

The first time Sammy got sick in the Impala he had been terrified of John’s reaction. Dean had been the one to calmly tell his dad to pull over. And when that didn't work, urgently insist until John finally looked back and saw Sam with a hand clamped over his mouth. Dean had ushered his little brother out of the car and pulled his hair back when Sam knelt down on the side of the road. John hadn’t even gotten out of the car until after his youngest son was finished being sick. And even then he had just handed Dean a bottle of water and a stack of drive-thru napkins and instructed him to “Clean him up, then get back in the car.” He remembered how Sam had leaned against him looking weak. His brother's skin clammy and his pallor grey. He had barely been able to keep his eyes open and fell asleep to Dean petting his hair and whispering it would be okay.

When Dean felt a small hand fumble for his hand on the rim of the bucket, he almost expected to see hazel eyes staring back at him. But it wasn’t Sam, it was Ben. Never again would his little brother seek comfort from him or need his help. Ben was the one who needed Dean now. Needed him to pull his head out of his ass and do what needed to be done. Big brother. Surrogate father. There wasn't much difference. 

 

“Think you’re done for now?” He leaned down slightly to see Ben’s face. The boy spat a few times to clear his mouth and slowly nodded his head. Dean took the old ice cream bucket off of Ben's lap and walked around to the back of the truck. He dumped the contents into the weeds and then got back in. He set the empty container on the floor within reach and then fished around for the bottled water and napkins he kept stashed for when lunch got messy. He supervised the cleanup and then pulled back onto the road.


	5. Home, Sweet Home

Lisa heard the front door open and looked up from her spot on the couch. She set the blanket to the side and then walked towards Dean’s voice.

 

“Bathroom or bed?” Her son must have nodded because she didn’t hear anything.

“Okay, go on up and I’ll be there in a minute. Okay?” Ben hesitated for only a moment before trudging up the stairs. Dean sighed and then turned towards Lisa. “I think we’re gonna set up camp in the bathroom. You need anything before I head into the sick zone?” She shook her head even though her lips parted like she wanted to speak. She was obviously holding something back from him. At this point, he was tired and getting frustrated with her so he just nodded and made his way up the stairs to tend to her son.

 

Lisa sighed heavily at Dean’s back as he followed after Ben. This wasn’t Dean's fault. Mostly she was mad at herself. Why couldn’t she just open her mouth and tell him? He had more than proved himself over the last few months and this morning’s events just solidified her trust in his paternal abilities. Heck, the guy had practically raised his brother, and he loved kids. He welcomed Ben’s friends over on the weekends although she knew he still spiked their Kool-Aid with holy water. But that didn't bother her too much. It wasn't like he demanded them to line up so he could slice each arm with a silver knife. Dean Winchester would always be a hunter. He would always be the guy who saved the world and killed the bad guys, but maybe he wanted more. Maybe he would be happy to hear about the baby.

She resettled into the couch and returned her hands to her belly. She had to tell him. He deserved to know. He deserved the right to make his own decisions and react to the news. Who was she to deny a Winchester? 

 

Dean had been sitting on the edge of the bathtub for almost two hours. His ass had long since gone numb and Ben was currently dozing at his feet. They had been doing the cough, hover, throw up, spit, clean up, repeat, routine up until twenty minutes ago. Lisa had checked on them on and off. At one point while Dean had one hand on Ben’s back, she had come in to swap out washcloths, set down a glass of what he assumed was Gatorade, then leaned down to whisper to him that there was a sandwich waiting for him in the fridge before kissing Ben’s hair and leaving them alone. 

Her lack of desire to be with her sick son bothered Dean, but his ass was numb and he was about ready to pass out next to Ben so it would have to wait. He glanced down at Ben before easing himself off of the bathtub and over to the sink. He washed his hands for the umpteenth time and then splashed some water on his face. His stomach growled reminding him that the last time he ate was before Ben and Lisa woke up today. He checked his watch, yawned, and took note of how he was faring.

Dean had started to feel rough about an hour ago, but he didn’t really have time to be sick when Mom Lisa was AWOL and Ben was still miserable. He cleared his throat and noted that it was a bit scratchy. He filled a glass with water, downed it, and then popped some Tylenol into his mouth. He coughed hard and gagged into his fist. He leaned further over the sink until he was sure the medicine would stay down. He wiped the beads of sweat from his forehead and closed his eyes against the throbbing between his eyes. He clenched his jaw and guessed he had about three hours tops before he would be joining Ben on the floor. 

 

Lisa turned over in bed and frowned when she saw the empty spot next to her. She didn’t even remember feeling tired but recalled she had been utterly exhausted during her first trimester with Ben. She had calculated earlier while Dean went out to retrieve Ben earlier that she must be about eight weeks along. She and Dean had been having a slight dry spell so it was easy to figure out when she conceived. That had been the night she rode him in their bed. His fingers twined with hers, his eyes locked on hers. They had taken it slow that night since Ben was sleeping over with a friend. Dean had covered her in kisses and gentle licks first. Then laid down so she could straddle him, but actually ended up covering her body with his while he brought them both to orgasm. 

She slipped out from under the covers and grabbed the thin robe lying at the foot of the bed. She belted it as she walked. Making her way towards the hallway bathroom near Ben's room. She paused when she heard a deep gag. Looks like Dean would be next. She pulled the elastic tie from her wrist and pulled her hair back into a ponytail before knocking gently on the door. 

Dean heard Lisa knock just as Ben sat up and lunged back over the bowl. Dean swallowed down sour bile and returned to his position on the bathtub. He barely glanced up when Lisa knelt down behind her son and started rubbing his back. She cast a concerned look at Dean even as she began comforting her sick son. Dean was too busy trying to ignore the sounds of Ben vomiting to pay her any attention. There was a deep guttural gag from the young boy and Dean knew the countdown was on for him to get somewhere private. He pushed up from the tub, stepped around Lisa and exited the bathroom. He held out until he was out of their sight, then he bolted for the master bath. He hit his knees in front of the toilet, fumbled the lid up, and then finally gave in to his body’s desire to purge Ben’s illness. 


	6. Sick of It

Lisa finally managed to get Ben back into bed around five then cleaned up and went to check on Dean. She knocked gently on the door before peeking inside. Dean was on his knees hunched over the bowl, one arm wrapped around his stomach the other gripping his hair tightly. Her eyes checked the rest of the bathroom and landed on the shards of glass near the sink. She looked back to her sick boyfriend and saw the hand clutching his abdomen was tinted red. She carefully stepped inside and used a handful of tissues to sweep the glass into the trash can. Then she pulled out the bottle of alcohol, gauze, and tweezers so she could tend to his hand.

 

Dean panted over the water while Lisa moved around the small space. He clenched his eyes shut against a tide of tears and sobbed into the water. He wanted Sam, not Lisa. He hated getting sick and Sammy knew how to take care of him without overdoing it. Lisa tiptoed around him when he got like this, but his brother knew that sometimes he needed a firm hand and orders to follow. Sometimes he got so lost in his head that he needed that voice to ground him. Sam’s voice. But Sammy was gone and he was alone on the bathroom floor feeling like utter shit.

Lisa approached Dean carefully. “Dean? I need to clean your hand. Can you let go for a minute?” She took the hand he offered to her and gently swabbed it with the alcohol. Then she grabbed the flashlight from the bottom drawer and used the tweezers to remove the small bits of glass. She had to pause when he coughed roughly and dry heaved over the water, then covered his hand with antibiotic ointment and gauze. She placed it back against his side and then leaned over so she could kiss his shoulder. “You okay?”

He shivered when her lips connected with his sweat-soaked t-shirt. “No.” He laid his arms on the seat and rested his head on his fever-warm skin.

Lisa ran a hand through his damp hair and wondered if she would ever be enough for him. Would she ever be able to take Sam’s place in his life? When he had nightmares, he called for Sam. When he was sick, he whimpered and asked for his brother. When someone mentioned his brother they would either get a fist to the nose or dead eyes. She couldn’t replace Sam, she knew that, but she did yearn to be needed by Dean. “What can I do?”

Dean snorted against his arms. “Nothing.” Lisa tried to ignore how much that stung. “Tell me.” He was tired and sore. He felt like crap and he was fed up with her avoiding whatever it was. If he blew up, fine. If he fell apart, fine. He was just done.

“Tell you what?” Lisa held her breath and looked anywhere but Dean's face. 

“Tell me what you were trying to tell me earlier. What you’re hiding from me.” Dean turned towards her when he said that. He knew his eyes were full of anger and frustration. Just like always, he scared her and she pulled away slightly. He heaved out a breath and then pushed up from the floor. He walked over to the counter and splashed water on his face. Lisa sat on the floor confused. Dean didn’t really care right now. He just wanted her to come clean so he could crawl into Baby with a full bottle and drown the memories.

Lisa watched as Dean shoved it all down again. He rinsed his mouth and dried himself off with the hand towel before reaching for his toothbrush. She rose from the floor, closed the toilet lid, and then sat facing him. He looked at her then spit frothy toothpaste into the sink. Once he finished cleaning up, he leaned against the wall and crossed his arms. Dean Winchester was officially done being patient.

He raised his eyebrows at her to clue her into how close he was to walking out of the bathroom. Lisa took a deep breath, her eyes darted up to his and then down. “I’m not sure this is really the best time to finish our conversation.” She glanced up in time to see him roll his eyes and throw his hands up in exasperation.

“Fine. Whatever. You don’t want to tell me what’s wrong? Fine.” He stalked into the bedroom and pulled his shirt over his head then shucked his pants off. Lisa watched in confusion when he crossed to the closet instead of the dresser. Dean shoved all the newer clothes towards one end of the closet and pulled at the last hanger. He pulled on the jeans, threw on the black tee, and slid his arms into the soft flannel. He bent down, grabbed his boots from the floor and walked out of the bedroom.

Lisa stood in shock for a moment before chasing after him. She found him on the couch lacing his boots. He had on his leather jacket and she saw the Impala keys on the coffee table. “What..Where are you going?” Dean gave her an incredulous look and then rose. She swallowed and backed up a few steps. It had been quite a while since the hunter had stood in front of her that she had almost forgotten how intimidating he could be all dressed up to fight evil. Except there was no evil to fight in the living room. He was sick and he was angry with her. This wasn’t a violent hunter, this was the man she loved who took off work to take care of Ben, who lied with her when she freaked out.

Dean felt his anger fade when Lisa stepped back from him. Instead, he was filled with sadness and an encompassing feeling of loneliness. He wanted his brother so much it hurt. His stomach clenched. He swallowed hard against the emotions fighting to break through and grabbed the keys. He walked to the door, hung his head for a moment when he realized that Lisa was really just going to let him walk out, and then headed for the garage.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I thought this chapter was gonna be the one, but nope. The next one for sure. I'm already working on it and may post it later. The big announcement is coming! Promise!


	7. Running Scared

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this one ran long so I am going to split it into two chapters. And yes the next part is when Lisa FINALLY tells him. I just couldn't have her tell him over the phone...

Dean didn’t know how long he had been driving and he didn’t care. He only stopped to fill up Baby and chug a bottle of Pepto which he later spewed on the side of the road. His hands were slightly cramped from gripping the wheel so tightly, but Baby was purring at him so he just ignored the pain. He felt numb when he finally pulled up to a liquor store and grabbed the emergency stash he kept in the glove box. He ignored the stares of the few employees left in the store and grabbed the nearest bottle of whiskey from the shelf. The cashier tried to make light conversation, but he just grunted, grabbed his change and the bottle. Baby was still warm when he got back in and started her back up. The gas gauge was hovering at a fourth, but he knew she would make it.

Once he saw the rusted gates of the cemetery exhaustion hit him. He eased her tires over the uneven ground until they arrived. He turned her off, patted the dash and then grabbed the bottle from the seat next to him. He leaned against Baby while he drank and stared at the spot where Hell had swallowed his baby brother. Dean leaned to the side and coughed up pink-tinged whiskey onto the grass next to him. He wiped his mouth with his hand and then brought the bottle back to his lips.

“I don’t think I can do this, Sammy. I know I promised you, but this is too much. I can’t do this without you, man. I need you here. God, I thought Lisa and Ben would fill this hole in me, but somehow I think it’s worse! They don’t even come close!” His phone vibrates in the jacket pocket, but he ignores it. Let it go to voicemail. “I’m trying so hard, little brother. I want to make you proud, but I don’t know how much more I can take.” Dean finishes off the bottle then chucks it as hard as he can. He watches it shatter against one of the gravestones and feels wetness on his cheeks. This time though Dean doesn’t fight it. He let the anger and grief wash over him. He let himself cry, sobbing and hiccupping against Baby while he mourned his dead brother.

 

Lisa checked on Ben before trying Dean’s cell again. He already sent over ten calls to voicemail over the last nine hours. She was worried about him. He hadn’t been in a good state of mind when he left and he had taken his car instead of the truck so she assumed it was going to be a long drive. She thought about calling Bobby Singer. His was the only name Dean had mentioned after he showed up months ago. But she didn’t have a number for him so she just kept calling and texting Dean.

She lied down on the bed and drank ginger tea to settle her upset stomach. She wasn’t sure if it was caused by worry, Ben’s illness, or the onset of morning sickness. She was desperately hoping it wasn’t one of the latter. She closed her eyes and tried to fill Dean’s gap with pillows.

 

\---

 

Dean woke to soft black leather and a pounding headache. He lied still for a minute letting the sunlight stream into the Impala before his body reminded him he was hungover and sent him scrambling for the door. After the whiskey made a reappearance, he lied back down and reached down for his phone where it rested on the floor. He only had about seven percent battery left, but he ignored the warning and hit number three on speed dial.

 

Ben rolled his eyes at his mom’s silly ringtone and shuffled down the hall to find out why she hadn’t answered yet. He heard the shower going and walked over to her bedside table to see who was calling. He frowned when he saw Dean’s name on the screen and sat down on the edge of the bed.

 

“Dean?” Ben listened for any sounds that would indicate Dean was at work, but it was quiet on the other end.

 

“Hey. How you feelin'?” Dean grimaced when he sat up and fished around in the glove compartment for his old sunglasses. He jammed them onto his head and then pressed a fist to his mouth when the world spun.

 

“I’m okay now. Just tired. How come you didn’t wake me before you left?” Ben tried not to sound too childish. He leaned around the wall when he heard the water shut off and began whispering. “Are you at work? It doesn’t really sound like the job site.”

 

“Ah, no. I’m not at work. I had to...do something.” Dean heaved himself out of the car and opened up the trunk. He dug around until he found a couple of water bottles and gulped one down. He choked slightly when he saw the edge of a rosary peeking out from the weapons stash.

 

“Dean? You okay? You sound kind of funny.” Dean tucked the beads back under the floorboard and slammed the trunk. The guilt hit him instantly and he ran his hand along sun-warmed black to apologize.

 

“Uh, yeah. I’ll be fine. Think I may have caught your bug.” Dean leaned against the side of the car and played with the full bottle hanging from his fingers. "Hey, Ben, Where's your mom?" 

 

Lisa toweled her hair off then combed through it carefully. She paused for a minute when a wave of nausea hit her. She breathed slowly, one hand on her bare stomach and the other hovering over her mouth. Thankfully it passed, and she was able to don her fuzzy pink robe and head back to the bedroom to get dressed. She halted at the doorway when she heard Ben talking to someone. Her son looked up when she called his name then mumbled something into the phone before handing it to her. She glanced at the caller ID then shooed Ben from the bedroom.

 

“Dean?” She waited for him to answer. Lisa wasn’t sure what she was feeling yet so she would let him decide how this played out.

“Yeah, it's me. Lisa, look, I’m sorr-” Dean quickly held the phone against his thigh as the water came back up.

“Dean?” Lisa heard him vomit and sat down on the bed with a hand against her still sensitive stomach. The sounds he was making weren’t doing her any favors, but she needed to hold on so they could talk.

 

“Sorry.” Dean dragged his hand over his chin, cleared his throat, and sat down in the driver’s seat with his feet on the ground... “Ugh,” he coughed and spat between his boots. Luckily it didn't leave an awful aftertaste as the alcohol had. 

 

“You still feeling sick? I think Ben is pretty much over it.”

 

“No. I’m good. It's, uh, not from the flu.” Dean grimaced at his own stupidity. Drinking liquor on an empty stomach wasn’t a good idea, but drinking on an empty stomach while fighting a fuckin’ stomach bug? Yeah, not the smartest decision.

 

“Are you okay?” Lisa twisted the material of her nightgown between her fingers. She wanted him home, here with her. She suddenly desperately wanted to tell Dean about the baby, but she wasn’t willing to do it over the phone.

 

“Yeah. I mean, no, but yeah, I’m okay now.” He blew out a frustrated breath and ran a hand through his hair. “Lis, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have just left like that. I just...shit. I just couldn’t breathe and I felt like shit and I wanted…” Dean trailed off and lifted his feet into the car. He leaned back against the seat and closed his eyes.

 

“It’s okay to miss him, Dean. It’s normal to grieve when we lose someone close to us. And sometimes we freak out. It happens and there is nothing we can do about it.” Lisa scooted back against the headboard and took a deep breath before continuing, “But you scared the hell out of me last night. You were wild and angry. You cut your hand and now you’re telling me you drank? I don’t even know where you are right now, Ben’s worried about you, _I’m_ worried about you."

 

“I know and I’m sorry. I am. I just... needed to be close to him.” 

 

“You’re in Lawrence?” Lisa stared at the phone in disbelief. When she assumed it was a long drive, she thought maybe he would drive to the next town over and rent a room or hell, sleep in his car. But Kansas? He was currently nine hours away. He hadn’t just gone for some air, Dean had left them.

 

“Yeah. I’m getting ready to head out though. I should be back before six. Unless…”

 

“Unless what?” Lisa saw Ben standing in the doorway and motioned him over. He crawled up on the bed like he used to do when he was little and curled into her.

 

“I mean, I can, uh, stay at Bobby’s old place if I need to or camp out in the Impala.” Dean picked at a string on his jeans and waited for her to answer. He wouldn’t blame her if she wanted him gone. To say he had baggage was an understatement. Most people’s baggage consisted of rude exes or rebellious teen years, not Hell nightmares, an abusive violent childhood, extreme sibling codependency issues, and the death of every single loved one or friend on his list.

 

“Dean Winchester don’t you _dare_ suggest you might not be welcome in this house. This is your home now. Ben and I miss you. We just want you to come home, okay?” Lisa looked down at her son and saw him nodding vigorously with wide eyes. Dean was such a great dad to him and she knew that their new addition would be just as lucky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler Alert for Swan Song! 
> 
> In my version, poor Dean is all alone (except for Lisa and Ben, duh). Bobby's neck is still broken, Sammy and Adam are still in Hell (although technically Adam IS still in Hell as of Season 14, so I guess that part is canon compliant!), and Cas was never put back together by God after being exploded by Luci.


	8. Coming Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lisa finally tells Dean, but not before they get a chance to reconnect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to add a few tags for this chapter so please be aware. 
> 
> WARNING: hot angsty sex ahead!

This was a bad idea. He knew it was yet here Dean was back in the Braeden’s garage. His hands still gripped onto the steering wheel as he stared at the wall in front of him. He supposed he should go in since they had most likely heard Baby when he drove up, but he couldn’t seem to move. So instead, he just sat and waited.

“Dean?” He jumped when he heard a knock on the window and looked over to see Lisa. Her dark hair tumbled loosely over her shoulders. She wore a pair of loose pants and a white t-shirt. She frowned at him when he didn’t move and his heart stuttered in his chest. He didn’t belong with her. He should just turn around and leave. But he was torn. She was standing there and her big brown eyes were offering him everything he never knew he wanted. They were telling him it would be alright. That they would get through this together. That no matter what dumbass thing he did, she would still love him. He saw so much promise in her eyes and it scared him shitless.

Lisa watched the emotions flit across Dean’s face while she waited patiently at the window. She saw the internal struggle and frowned. She wished desperately that she could make it all better, take the hurt away, and give him some relief. She wanted to hold him in her arms when he fell apart and tell him she would never leave. But she knew she had to tread carefully, and right now, all she could offer him was the truth. She backed up when he opened the door and waited for him to get out. She started walking back towards the house when he finally emerged but stopped when he didn’t follow.

Dean stood between the symbol of his old life and the offer of a new one trying to figure out what to do. He wanted to know that he was making the right decision if he went with her. That he wasn’t going to regret his next action or the next words that came tripping out of his mouth. That he would be safe with them. That his brother would forgive him for moving on, for letting go of everything that had made them so close.

Lisa watched Dean, tried to figure out what he was thinking, what he was feeling. She started back towards him and reached out slowly. He looked at her hand and then lifted his head to meet her eyes. She gasped when he used her hand to pull her to him. His mouth crashed into hers and he spun them until Lisa’s back was against the car. He kissed her like he would die unless he stole all of her breath. He pushed her shirt up so he could palm her breasts in his rough hands. She arched into his touch even as confusion and bewilderment filled her head. After a few moments though, she slowly moved the hands that had been desperately clinging to his arms until one rested on his shoulder and the other on his back. Her eyes drifted closed and she let herself get lost in the feel of the man she loved against her.

Lisa had a brief chance to catch her breath when Dean stepped away long enough to pull his shirt over his head. Then he leaned back down and reclaimed her mouth. Her hands drifted to his chest, one resting over his no-demons-allowed tattoo. His hands got tangled in her long hair when she pressed against him. Dean’s fingers traveled down to the waistband of her lounge pants and slid them down so they puddled at her bare feet. As Lisa stepped out of them, he crouched down so he could wrap his hands around her thighs and kiss each bare leg. He looked up at her as he nipped and licked his way up to her. Her breath caught when he splayed his fingers on her hips and kissed over her belly. Dean grabbed her ass and lifted her up. Lisa’s long legs wrapped around him, her lips trailing along his jaw and down his neck. He pushed her against the Impala so that he could unfasten his jeans and slide his boxers down to free his erection. Lisa whimpered when she felt him tug her panties aside so his cock could brush against her. She didn’t care about anything right now except getting him in her. Dean nuzzled against her breasts and then leaned his head back slightly so he could hold her gaze as he sunk into her.

Dean groaned when he felt his dick enter wet warmth. He pushed everything else from his mind and focused on that. On the feeling of them together. He thrust his hips up just as he loosened his grip a little and let her weight sink down onto him. Fuck. She felt so good. He snapped his hips up into her and felt his balls slap against the car door as he switched between lazily easing in and out and plunging deep and hard. He explored her mouth with his tongue until his impending orgasm forced him to rest his head against her and try to catch his breath. He adjusted their position so that he could free one hand to flick and rub her clit as he pushed his dick into her. Her little moans were addictive and Dean found himself holding out so he could hear them.

Lisa’s pussy clenched him tight and she bit into his shoulder to hide her scream when she came. Dean held her against the car and plowed into her, forcing her to loop her arms around his neck as her head knocked against the roof before he jerked and spilled his release into her. They were both sweaty and panting covered in the sticky residue of their frantic lovemaking. For the first time since she saw the little plus sign that informed her she was going to be a mommy again, Lisa felt peaceful. She was beyond happy to have her large sweaty boyfriend collapsed on her and feel cool metal pressed against her back. In the back of her mind, she worried about Ben walking in on them, but for now, she let Dean and herself have a few moments of much-needed closeness.

Once he caught his breath and his head stopped spinning from the intense orgasm, Dean slowly lowered Lisa to the floor. She pulled her pants back up and then he allowed her to tuck his now soft dick back into his jeans before he kissed her. This time he didn’t try to devour her mouth, he just placed his pursed lips against hers for a few moments before resting their heads together. He hoped Lisa understood that it was the only way he knew to apologize for being an insecure ass. He had never been good with words. But maybe showing her a glimpse of his softer side would help. He leaned down to retrieve his shirt from the floor and smirked when Lisa smacked his ass. She laughed and reached out a hand to him. He slid his shirt back on and then slid his fingers between hers.

 

Lisa smiled at him and felt her heart melt when she saw Dean smile back. She desperately hoped that what she was about to say wouldn’t kill the timid light that had returned to his eyes. “We need to talk.” Dean nodded and leaned down to place a kiss on her lips. She watched him, nervous butterflies filling her stomach, but all he did was give her a soft smile. “Lead the way.”

 

\---

 

Now that they were sitting on the couch Lisa had no idea how to start. She didn’t want to just blurt it out, but if she tiptoed around it she ran the risk of pissing him off again. Dean sighed and leaned back so that one arm rested on the back of the couch and his long legs sprawled between them. He held out a hand to her and she took it, crawling beside him and laying her head against his chest. “I don’t know where to start.”

His arm wrapped around her and his fingers stroked her soft skin. “I can’t help you there, honey. But I do know that the longer you wait to tell me, the harder it’s going to be.” His chest rumbled beneath her cheek as he spoke. Lisa picked at invisible lint on his shirt. Dean leaned down and kissed the top of her head. “Sweetheart, whatever it is, we’ll get through it. Okay?” He adjusted them so that he could tilt her chin up and force her to look at him. “I’m not going anywhere.” Brown eyes searched his green ones before Lisa took a deep breath and sat up. She didn’t look at him when he sat up with her. He rubbed her back with one hand, but she tensed under his touch. He frowned and let one foot touch the floor so that he could pull her back against him. He stilled her hands where they rubbed the tops of her thighs and covered them with his. He rested his chin on her shoulder and kissed her cheek.

Lisa took a deep breath and swallowed. “I’m...pregnant.” Her breath caught and tears fell from her eyes. She was afraid to turn her head. To see Dean’s reaction. He hadn’t moved from his place against her, but he had gone still. There was a slight tension in his body that hadn’t been there before. She bit her lip to keep a sob from escaping and realized her hands were shaking under Dean’s. “Ss-say s-something...p-please?” She felt his throat work against her shoulder as he swallowed. Even though she was expecting it, it still hurt when he slowly leaned back and carefully placed his hands back on his denim-clad thighs. Lisa untucked her legs and then slid over to the opposite end of the couch so she could see Dean clearly. She wasn’t entirely sure what to do when she finally came face-to-face with the consequences of keeping the baby from him for.

Pregnant. Lisa was...pregnant. Dean’s eyes glazed over and his mind raced. Lisa was talking to him, but he couldn't hear her. It was like he was underwater, her words distorted. The panic began to build. His heart tried to beat out of his chest, his fists clenched around clammy palms. He shut his eyes when the room spun and his stomach somersaulted. He felt the lunch he had stopped to eat on the way back rise in his throat. He swallowed and pushed up from the couch. Vertigo assaulted him and he swayed, slapping his hand against the wall to brace himself. He breathed heavily through his nose as a rancid mixture of bitter coffee and digested meatloaf filled his mouth. He pushed a fist firmly against his mouth and stumbled his way to the downstairs bathroom. Dean felt sick seep through his fingers as he slammed the door and turned the lock. Deja vu washed over him as he leaned over the porcelain bowl and heaved.

Lisa hesitated in outside the closed bathroom door. The fact that he had actually closed the door even though he almost puked in the living room spoke volumes. He was shutting her out. She eased herself onto the floor and then leaned against the door. She rested one hand on her belly and the other on the door in front of her face.

Dean coughed and tore off some toilet paper to clean his mouth. His spit into the dirty water and then flushed the evidence of his panic attack away before leaning back against the wall. He closed his eyes and let his hands hang loosely between his knees. “Lisa?” He waited for her to answer even though he knew she was there on the other side of the locked door.

Lisa raised her head when she heard Dean’s voice. “Yeah?” Her voice was barely a whisper, but she couldn’t bring herself to speak any louder.

“I--I don’t know if I can do this..” A tear slipped down her cheek, but she stayed quiet. “It’s just...I didn’t have the best childhood and the way my dad raised me...well, it’s not something I want to share with a kid. You know?”

“Dean--”

“No. Let me get this out, okay? Because if I don’t do it now with a piece of wood between us, I know I won’t do it at all.” He paused and Lisa waited for a few moments before speaking, “Okay.”

“My family was fucked up, Lis. We were all screwed in the head and damned to hell before we could even walk. I’m angry and violent. I’m unpredictable on a good day and stone cold or explosive on a bad one. I have nothing to offer a kid except a lifetime of daddy issues.”

Lisa’s heart broke as she listened to Dean. He really believed that he wouldn’t be a good father? “Dean, you have more than enough to offer. Ben loves you. He worships the ground you walk on. And you can’t say you aren’t good with kids because I’ve seen how you act around his friends, even Evan, the little jerk.” Lisa took a deep breath before continuing, “Maybe your childhood was messed up, maybe it was awful and the things that happened have darkened your self-perception, but I know the truth about you.”

Dean listened as Lisa advocated for him. It was sweet even though he didn’t deserve it. “How do you know?” He turned his head towards the door and waited for her answer.

Here comes the tricky part. “Because you raised Sam to be a wonderful man. Your brother wouldn’t have been the person he was unless you raised him that way. Maybe your father had a small part, but it was you. You were the one who took care of him and nurtured him. You helped build him up until he was strong enough to survive on his own.” Lisa was no longer whispering. Her voice had gained strength as she spoke each word. Dean crawled over by the door with tears in his eyes, reached up and flipped the lock.

She heard rustling and then the click of the lock. Instead of opening the door, she remained seated against it. Her palm flat on the wood as she spoke the truth to Dean. “Sam trusted you more than anything, Dean. You were his hero. What kid wouldn’t be lucky to have a father that can instill such faith in the people he meets?” She leaned back when she heard the doorknob turn and saw Dean sitting against the cabinets under the sink. He moved his feet so she could push the door open further. She knelt in front of him and grasped his hands in hers. “This baby is so lucky to have you as a father. You are going to be such an amazing dad, Dean.” He raised his head and she saw tear tracks on his face. “What if I screw up, Lis? What if I ruin everything and it hates me?”

“You won’t screw up, babe.” Dean arched an eyebrow at her in blatant disbelief. “Okay, _if_ you screw up, I’ll be right there next to you. You won’t be alone. We’ll be doing it together.” She paused to cup a hand against his face. He leaned into her touch and closed his eyes. “Besides, if anything too crazy happens, I’m sure Ben will set us straight.” She had meant it as a joke, but Dean’s eyes flew open at the mention of her son. She pushed a finger to his lips when he tried to speak. “Ben is a big boy. He can handle the news of me being pregnant. And I’m pretty sure that he’s been praying for a sibling since the night you and Sam saved him.” Dean’s lips twitched in a reluctant smirk. “We have nine--” really it was only seven, but she didn’t want to freak him out now that he had calmed down… “--months to get used to the idea. There’s no reason to panic right now. Leave that for when I go into labor.” Lisa chuckled at the dread in Dean’s eyes, then place one hand on either side of his stunned face and kissed him. “You, me, Ben, and this little guy.” She placed one of his hands on her belly. “What do you say, hm?”

Dean’s gaze softened as he looked to where his and Lisa’s hands land on her flat stomach. The panic was still there, but it simmered under the surface instead of drowning him. Instead of fear, he saw a glimmer of hope because of the little life under his palm. Dean was shocked to realize he felt pride rather than guilt. He was carrying on the Winchester name. He couldn’t help but think that Sam would be elated to find out he was going to be an uncle. The sadness that he typically felt when he thought of his brother was replaced by happiness and cautious excitement at becoming a father. As the reality of the situation finally sunk in, Dean smiled and met Lisa’s questioning gaze. “Or girl.” Lisa’s smile grew even wider as her eyes lit up at his words. “I say...if I can handle a pack of werewolves or Ben’s meltdown when his Gameboy runs out of batteries, then I can probably handle a baby.” Dean stroked Lisa’s cheek with his thumb and then leaned forward to place a gentle kiss on her lips. “Besides, I’ll have you with me...riding shotgun.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it, ladies and gents! I apologize for the long ass wait and unintentional teasing. I hope the ending satisfies. I kept going back and forth with it trying to decide if I would end it here or continue on. But after the chaos of finishing eight measly chapters, I think I will quit while I'm (hopefully) ahead. 
> 
> Please leave kudos and/or comments if you enjoyed! They bring a smile to my face while at work :)

**Author's Note:**

> This was going to be a quick one-shot, but then I glanced down and saw I already had nine pages written so I decided to go with the flow and turn it into a multi-chapter fic. 
> 
> *I only did a quick read through and my "editor" is taking forever so if there are mistakes, I apologize. Please let me know if you find any glaring errors. I am a grammar nazi myself, so I won't be offended. Hopefully, said "editor" will get his butt in gear and give me the stamp of approval soon.


End file.
